When I was a little girl, my mom had a cake business called "Kathy's Cakes". I remember her spending hours in the kitchen stressing over the details of making these amazing creations for someone's special day.. a wedding, a birthday, a retirement. She was amazing at it! She eventually quit the cake business, but she still shared her talents for free for her loved ones and made some pretty incredible cakes for us over the years. When Jake was 3, he was obsessed with trucks. She actually made him a 3 dimensional big rig with his photo in the driver's seat for his birthday.
Not having her here for my wedding has really hit me hard the last several days. Lots of tears. There's no getting around it, it sucks to not have your mom at your wedding. It sucks to not have her as a touch point as I navigate planning not only a wedding but entering into a new life with someone else.
In the details of planning, of course, the business of the wedding cake came up. People want to charge an exorbitant amount of money for a wedding cake. Of course, I know I would never have had to worry about that if my mom were here. She would've shed blood and tears to make a beautiful wedding cake just because she loved me. Just another reminder and detail that points to her absence.
A couple of years ago, a friend of mine started her own cake business called "Kathi's Cakes". I remember talking with her about my mom's identical business with the same name. Kathi has known me for a long time. She knew me before and after my mother's death. I spoke with her this weekend about the possibility of making my cake. I prayed and hoped that she would give me a good deal. And she did.. Kathi's Cakes is making my wedding cake as a gift. Just because she loves me.
So, maybe going forward, I can look for sign posts that don't mark her absence but for sign posts that remind me that she will always be with me.. because He is with me. He's in the details of my life. He is faithful, He is tender and He sees me.
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