I didn't know, but God did.

In January 2008, I went back to school to be a teacher. I did my coursework, passed all my state exams and headed out to find a teaching job. At the time, I decided to go with the internship option to complete my certification. This would require me getting a teaching job and being granted my certification at the end of one year. Student teaching was the other option. Sure, it would be awesome to have that kind of training before I teach.. but let's face it, student teaching isn't designed for single moms who need an income. It's 3 months unpaid work, no less in a crap economy. I never even considered it. Fast forward to Fall of 2009, and after pounding the pavement for a year and a half, I broke down.

Why, God, am I not getting a job? In all the events leading up to even going back to teaching, I was sure I knew it was the right direction. I asked Him to show me what I was missing in all this.. what am I not seeing? And it became clear. What I wasn't seeing was Him in all of it and asking what His plan was for me. I had just taken the teaching thing and run with it, my way. Student teaching came back to mind, and I decided to just pray and ask some hard questions about my unbelief. Sure, God has always provided for Jake and me, but hey, this is 3 months unpaid work. That's a really big deal, no? But, despite logic and with myself firmly planted reckless faith, I put it out there. I simply asked. And my Heavenly Father has provided the way.

The economy is worse. People are scrambling for jobs. And, here I am, leaving my cushy job for the unknown. I start student teaching in Frisco ISD on February 1st. Yah, I've heard I am nuts.. yep, I've gotten looks and the "well, wow, it's a tough job market out there..oooh, ya sure?" And, I have never been more sure of what I am doing in my life. I have no doubts. Because my eyes and trust are fixed on the Author and Perfecter of my faith and nothing less. I have put myself in a position where if God doesn't come through, I am screwed. And it is liberating and wonderful.. and I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.

Praise Him for increasing my faith.. praise Him for allowing me an experience to further sanctify my need for control.. praise Him for bringing my eyes off the world's ways and back to Him.. praise Him for just dreaming and giving me bigger and better than I ever conceive for myself. Praise Him for drawing me closer with the details in my life.

Humbled. Grateful. Ready for an adventure.