So, I have this older lady patient (well, I have a lot of those) who is a real 'boundary invader.' She knows a little about my life because she comes in EVERY couple of weeks for an office visit. And when she does, she asks a lot of questions. So last week, she commented on my hair (I've been wearing it curly more).. my makeup (asked me if I was goin' out that night).. and how she thought I was a very beautiful girl. She then proceeded to say to me that she couldn't believe I was "still on the market." I just kind of smiled.. and stayed quiet. I mean, I'm not even sure how to respond to that. Then she looks at me square in the eye and says in an accusatory manner, "You must be really choosey." I think this must be an example of the term "damning with faint praise."
Well, I really wasn't sure how to respond to that.. I mean, yeah, choosey does come to mind as I will be spending the REST OF MY LIFE with this person..but, more than that, I felt like there was something more implied. Like I must be just asking to be single because I haven't settled yet. First of all, I don't think "marriage" is the goal.. second, I personally would rather be single than be trapped in crappy marriage like a lot of people. Frankly, I'm tired of people thinking being single means I haven't yet arrived or something. And, honestly, with the divorce rate.. statistics on extramarital affairs and rising cost of marriage counseling, people might actually applaud a girl being a little "choosey." I've been down the "non-choosey" path.. and I'd like to think I've learned a little something. And maybe she touched a nerve because this week I turn 35.. and I live in the south.. in the 'burbs.. and some people here still think being single is a fate worse than death. It's an uphill mental battle some days.
Well, I'm not buying into that lie anymore, folks. And for all my single friends out there, I hope you don't either. I believe in a SOVEREIGN Father.. who is CHOOSEY... and that's where it begins and ends. The truth is.. I've chosen..I had one choice to make.. and I picked Him. And now, he does the choosing. The Lord is my only match maker.. so, if you think He is too choosey and withholding something from you.. or from me.. maybe you should take that up with Him. I'm over 'singleness' being substandard to being married. It's hogwash. I'm not sure 'hogwash' is biblical, but I feel just fine saying it.
Today, I am thankful for: Being rescued from some really bad relationships.. for allowing God's best in as the standard and not what I think is best.
3 comments:
Good for you! We should allow follow this path and let God do the choosing!
preach it, sister! amen!
AMEN SISTER!!! Thank you for writing all that! It needed to be said. We aren't broken because we're single. I'm convinced Paul was right when he said it's better to be single than married. We have the opportunity to focus soley on one man, our Heavenly Dad who has great things in store for us. He's made our ministry alot less complicated.
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