252 in dog years!

So, I'm 36 now. Struggled with this birthday coming more than I have with any others. I usually LOVE birthdays, and I have definitely loved being in my 30's. Although, there was something about the transition of being closer to 40 than I am 30 that just got my mind going. I have been up and down for several weeks about this impending birthday. When I stand outside of it, I feel pretty ridiculous even admitting it. Life isn't anything like I thought it would be at 36. I'm not married, I would love another child, my career is far from figured out (whatever that means!).. I don't own a home, no big savings account and I just started seeing the signs of aging. By the world's standards, I definitely don't have ANYTHING figured out. And while I don't measure my life by the world anymore, I have to admit that I am not immune to letting the lies of who I am linger just a minute too long in my mind.

And then I pray and talk to my God. And He gently whispers the truth of who I am into my heart with Authority. I am SAVED. I am SEALED as His. I am a child of the God Most High. And not only did he pluck me, little ole ME, from certain death, He relentlessly pursued my heart and chose to show me a different kind of life. A life where HE alone is at the center and not the world around me. In this life, His strength and glory are made perfect in all my weaknesses, my mistakes, my past. See, who am I to question what stage of life I am in? Who am I to want anything other than where I am at? The Creator of all things chose November 22, 1973 to be the specific day that I entered into creation. Every year, every moment purposeful moving towards His greater glory. I am humbled that He made me, chose me and loves me beyond the world's terms. He love me just because that's who He is.

As far as the world goes, I don't have squat figured out, and I really don't need to. The only thing I need to know is that my God, my Savior, my Comforter, my Protector, my Portion, my everything loves me. So, I move forward in another year joyfully, humbly and with profound gratitude for the forehead wrinkle, the gray hairs (although, not gonna lie- probably will color over them) and a life where I have really no idea what the next step will be. I am alive only in Him and am sorry that I wasted any time not revering that fact. So, on my birthday, I celebrate Him. Because, honestly, there in no life without Him. Nothing to celebrate about being born without a Savior. I am rich, blessed and cared for beyond measure.

I love you, Jesus!