So, Biz was on national tv this morning defending the fact that children don't need to carry condoms around, watch educational podcasts about sexual positions and that children having sex is NOT funny. It really got me going.. I could feel my blood boiling at the thought of people using that website to open up conversations with their kids/teens about sex. REALLY? I mean, what the crap?! (crap was necessary, I wanted to say worse) This one mother was talking about how great it was to watch these podcasts with her teen daughter.. it made them both more at ease to just "discuss." Okay.. here's goes me on my soapbox..
When did parents just stop being parents? GET OVER YOUR UNCOMFORTABLENESS! It's not about how uncomfortable we feel about approaching the sex subject with our kids. It's not about US at all. It's about BEING a parent.. protecting, educating properly and appropriately, being real about the emotional, spiritual, physical, mental ramifications of sex outside of marriage. You don't have to be a Christian to appreciate that. I'm just so sick and tired of parents not educating themselves on how and when to talk with their kids about serious issues. I see it all the time at Jake's elementary school. There are countless resources out there.. ones that cost money and ones for free. Kids are sponges just waiting for information... ANY kind of information. If we come to them and talk with them... even if they are sitting with their arms folded and turned away from us, I promise they are listening. And, I can tell ya, if you get the lines of communication open early, then it's a lot easier to have bigger conversations later.
I had to have a sex talk with Jake much earlier than I had anticipated. Last year! I am a single mother of a boy who's father is completely out of the picture. It was all on me. And let me tell ya, comfortable I was NOT. But, he was getting crazy, inappropriate information from more advanced classmates and it just became necessary. And you know Jake, this wasn't a quickie glossed-over version of the birds and the bees. He had real, specific, probing questions about sex, love relationships.. it was a biological, psychological, theological and sociological conversation about sex. Now, I didnt share every stinkin' detail, but I shared a lot. Luckily, he was grossed out by most of the physical, so we didn't have to dwell on that! He asked me questions like.. do people ever have sex even if they arent making a baby and why would they do that? did my dad do that to you? Let me to tell you.. comfortable never entered the equation. Just wait until he's doing the math between his birthday and when his parents got married. But as he enters puberty here soon, I will have to have the conversations again.. he will have more questions and it's my job to navigate through that to help him make good choices. It IS tough, but you do it anyway. There are things about boys that I'm sure I don't even know that will need to be addressed. And you know what I have to do to get that information?! uhh, yeah, ask a boy. Well, a man. And yes, Im laughing right now thinking about me having that conversation. But, by golly, I will do it.
I'm not perfect and I don't always do the right thing in every situation I'm sure. But, I got over myself in this area a long time ago.. they are precious, sacred gifts from the Lord.. and they need us. Parents dont have to be obsolete after the age of 12, that's a myth. Fight for them, they want us to.. they really do.
Today, Im thankful for...: The Spring, bring it on.
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